The Key to a Healthy Life

The Key to a Healthy Life
–BY PROF. NIVIN EL LULU – HALILI

Motivation

The Engine of Human Behavior

Motivation, or incentive, is the set of processes that arouse, direct and sustain human behavior toward a particular goal

Prof  in Psychology

“A person’s luck lies in their own hands”

Francis Bacon

Would you agree with me that without motivation, we would not want to do anything?

Have you ever met someone who you thought had a great job and earned a decent wage but decided to quit because they lacked the motivation to work?

When we have drive and mental desire, we have greater willpower and more energy, and our perception of life and things improves. And vice versa – when our willpower decreases and we have no energy, focusing mainly on shortcomings, the result will be our deterioration into illness.

But what exactly is motivation?

What is its source?

**And how can we generate motivation within ourselves? And more importantly – how can we ensure it remains with us permanently?

The word “incentive” comes from the Latin word “matere”, meaning “matter/material”. Webster’s dictionary defines “motivation” as something that causes a person to initiate or persist in a particular action or movement. We found that the word is actually composed of two words: Motive + Action, meaning an action derived from some motive.

There are three types of motivational forces:

1. Survival motivation: Psychologist Abraham Maslow spoke of “the most important human motivational force being the survival force”. This force compels a person to meet basic needs like food, water and air. When the person lacks one of these basic necessities, an innate alert mechanism in the brain signals the specific shortage, moving nerve cells rapidly, prompting the body to do whatever necessary to meet the need, and when succeeding, the body returns to homeostasis.
2. External motivations: These stem from our external lives, like friends/family, bosses at work etc. The problem is external motivations diminish quickly.
3. Internal motivation: This is the most powerful and enduring type, steering us via our intrinsic self-guiding forces toward great achievements; the force behind human success…the differences highlighting people’s varying lives…the driving force to sow flowers in your soul rather than await their delivery…the slumbering giant within awaiting arousal.

**Remember always:

“Live each minute as though it were your last,

Live in faith, hope and love,

Live in effort,

To explain this, we must remember the “cause and effect” law stating that for every cause there is an effect, so repeating the cause produces the same effect each time. So I’ll give an example of motivations in five steps:

Step 1: Breathing – Inhale while counting to 4, exhale counting to 4. Breathe this way during the experiment.

Step 2: Body posture – Sit/stand with broad shoulders and head raised.

Step 3: Declaration – Mentally repeat 5 times the phrase: “I am strong!” – roar it loudly from your body. Then loudly declare “I am strong!” 5 times.

Step 4: Connect sensations – Practice your repeated declarations, linking emotions through all your senses, not weakly stating “I’m strong” nor saying “Sometimes I’m strong” or “I might be strong” – you must say “I am strong” connected to your sensations.

Step 5: Emotional anchor – Does a particular song remind you of someone?…These are emotional anchors. Noticing a plane, were you reminded of a vacation or some other experience?…These too are anchors.

Anchors associate nerve connections between experiences and emotions. Scientist Pavlov discovered this by consistently feeding his dog upon ringing a bell – salivation at the bell ring despite no food. I performed a similar experiment with my cat, shaking her treat box to reward her with a biscuit. Soon she came running at the sound despite no treat. Likewise, humans anchor sights, sounds, speech and motions to relive past emotional experiences.

Now to raise your enthusiasm:

When touching an anchor like a fist, you’ll automatically breathe strongly, feel strong, hear yourself declare “I am strong!” and feel intense emotions. Let’s try:

Think of a past experience that highly excited you. Breathe strongly, separate your shoulders, raise your head. When sensations peak, touch the anchor and repeat 5 times “I am strong”.

Now lift your hand and touch the anchor again…What do you feel/hear now? If done properly, your enthusiasm certainly rose further. Practice with the anchor several times daily until it becomes second nature, readily sparking motivation by touch.

I suggest this motivation strategy:

1. Get a journal, daily write at least 3 of that day’s successes – you’re still breathing well with useful thoughts and connections! Title it “My Success Friend” and occasionally read it to quickly boost enthusiasm.
2. Make a wish list and reward an achievement by buying yourself a listed item – a deal, visiting a friend, controlling emotions etc. Rewards could be dining out, a book, comedy movie etc.
3. Do a weekly self-care activity – favorite music, sports, healthy meal, quiet walk.
4. Practice the anchor 3 times daily with sensitivity/sincerity, ensuring success until automatic. Take training step-by-step – it’s your life…now own it…continue enthusing in it!

To illustrate internal motivation, if a mother of five children was abandoned by her husband for another woman – instead of crying over the abandonment, she decided to take on the huge challenge, found a job cleaning at a small hotel, and within 5 years, owing to her diligence and internal drive, she became the hotel’s owner.

Likewise, though history speaks much about the blind/deaf Helen Keller becoming an influential teacher and author, little mention is made of Anne Sullivan who enabled her success – remaining by her side for years as teacher/friend/inspiration/believer in Keller’s abilities from her internal convictions rather than obligation – Anne’s intrinsic motivation directed her.

Let me ask a question I often employ in therapy: If wanting gym training, a friend promises to take you but cancels last minute – would you still go alone or cancel too?…Your internal motivation says that training will strengthen your health and energy, thus still take you to train, whether alone or with others.

Unfortunately people overly rely on external motivations like friends/family praise to bolster self-worth, needing to please others and craving respect to feel valued – possibly clinging to arbitrary externals rather than inner essence. American author Benjamin Franklin said “Others’ gaze upon us would destroy us…Had all around me been blind except myself, I should not have wanted fine clothes, a fine house or fine furniture”. American psychologist William James stated “If you stand in awe of others’ appreciation you will be the dupe of a great deceiver”.

I’ve read insurance companies hold annual sales competitions – the top selling agent wins an all-expense paid vacation. Agents normally selling policies worth ₪7000/week would sell ₪14000/week during competitions, striving for the prize. But the week after the competition ends, sales plunge back to ₪7000!!! Why? Despite same agent/company/market, with external motivations removed, sales predictably drop.

Another example – upon my NLP Mastery, expecting congratulations, I awaited bouquets longer than anticipated. A friend visited, admiring the beautiful roses asking who sent them. Reading the card – “Dearest Nivin…Heartfelt congratulations…So proud of your success!”, she exclaimed incredulously “You sent yourself flowers?”. I explained that after long hopes for appreciation from others were unmet, I fulfilled my own need – having learned that each personal milestone is self-celebrated with dinner out or a spa treatment etc.

Mark Twain remarked “You may expect great satisfaction from others’ regard but must provide your own happiness by rewarding yourself”.

So detach from arbitrary external motivations – let inner essence direct you, sparking the inner giant to realize full potential through self-sustaining motivations.

Philosopher Socrates first spoke of the “causation” law, nowadays termed the psychologists’ “cause and effect” principle – that every cause has an effect, so repeating the cause produces the same effect.

For example, a lion and deer in the forest both start running vigorously each morning. The lion knows it must outrun the deer or die of starvation, the deer knows it must outrun the fastest lion or become its prey. Despite no desire to run, they must swiftly do so to survive.

Likewise, upon an exhausting workday, deciding to rest in front of the TV, hearing someone suddenly scream “Fire!”, you would swiftly depart despite prior fatigue!!! Where did the previously lacking energy come from? Because survival threat aroused dormant energy.

So regardless of life path, if your existence was threatened, you would be alertly compelled by self-preservation motivation. Apply this drive to achieve constant motivational vigor propelling endeavor.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said “That which is before us and that which is behind us is nothing compared to what lies within us.” So tap your inner wisdom, not arbitrary external direction.

An ancient Chinese sage told a young man asking the secret of success: “Success secret is motivational ability”. When the youth asked: “Where does this motivation come from?”, the sage replied “From your burning will”. Further enquiring how to ignite this will, the sage immersed his head in water despite protests! After urgent struggle, the gasping youth understood the lesson:

“When you have a burning will to succeed, none can stop you”.

So burning desire is the foundation stone and seminal root of success – its secret. To ignite, we must remember three motivational forces:

1. Survival motivation
2. External motivations
3. Internal motivation – the most powerful, arising from intrinsic convictions and values rather than transient external stimuli…the inner beacon guiding our potential…the inner giant deserving awakening.

So heed the sage’s timeless wisdom – let inner brilliance guide, inspire and fulfill you.